MICHAEL MOORE
Ohhh - you betchyadoody S.T.!

JOHN PILGER
As you'll recall - Michael Moore was led away by Special Security forces from Poland for his rather shameless attempted publicity stunt.

Noamsky - I dunno about you but I think the big guy pulled it off!

NOAM CHOMSKY
JP - I haven't seen an exhbition of flesh like it since Governor Arnie went the grope in a g-string during the 1977 Mr Universe Titles.

JOHN PILGER
Noam - it's a memory you'll have to bear for some time yet.

But Noam - it's the American people my heart goes out to. With eight months of hard electioneering ahead tell us just how you see this year panning out.

The Chinese say it is The Year of The Monkey, but John F. Kerry has other plans. He seems hell bent on all the second banana's in The White House...not just G Dubya...

NOAM CHOMSKY
(interrupting)
JP - I have to stop you there. You're beginning to mix your metaphors and ruin a beautiful sporting analogy.

JOHN PILGER
Noamsky - my mistake. Tell us how ya see it Big Fella!

NOAM CHOMSKY
JP - current title holder, GDubya, entered this years U.S. election race as teams boss and lead driver. He's no doubt more than satisfied with the wily performance's of a his proven team led by Chief Race Strategist Donald Rumsfeld.

JOHN PILGER
Rumsfeld has received solid support from Chief Mechanic and Mr. Fixit, Colin Powell too Noam.

NOAM CHOMSKY
Powell has proved particularly adroit in proceedings when addressing the concerns of race officials with respect to WMD'S.

JOHN PILGER
Don't count out the mighty war chest juggernaut of Team Bush either!

NOAM CHOMSKY
JP - only a fool would!

Quickest in testing and man most likely as fastest qualifier for pole position is new boy, John F. Kerry. Trading heavily on party sentimentality, Kerry looks every inch the incarnation of the Democratic Party's Holy Trinity: Woodrow Wilson, Franklin Delano Rooseveldt and John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

JOHN PILGER
Noamsky - As Douglas Brinkley, director of The Eisenhower Centre for American Studies at University of New Orleans points out; Kerry has all the right stuff: a Massachusetts heritage and war veteran status duly endorsed with three purple hearts.

NOAM CHOMSKY
JP - he's got a point.

Contrast that against GDubya's "I did it for Daddy" comments and well-scrutinized service history.

It send shivers up my spine!

JOHN PILGER
Noamsky - and a chill down mine!

How do you see the season panning out for the also-rans Big Fella?!

NOAM CHOMSKY
JP - of the other teams well; it's a case of 'write your own ticket' for the minor placings.

JOHN PILGER
Michael Moore has a special guest. Who ya got Big Fella?!!

MICHAEL MOORE
John. Noam

I'm trying to catch the eye of the man who has shrugged off his bohemian past -- poster / pin-up boy for Brit-Pop politics...

JOHN PILGER
Michael, don't tell me!

MICHAEL MOORE
JP it is playboy Tony Blair!

The young upstart who once slept in train stations as a backpacker now travels first class all the way to the finish line thanks to the race hearing that cleared him of 'sexing up' his WMD intelligence.

JOHN PILGER
Hard to see the Brits doing much more than looking the part, although Jack Straw's abilities should not be underestimated Michael!

MICHAEL MOORE
You betchyadoody JP

Blair is now trading cheesy grins with Virgin supremo Sir Richard Branson as they launch a new discount political racing team. Through clenched teeth he keeps repeating defiantly "I just want to race".

Back to you.

JOHN PILGER
Noamsky

The Germans have overlooked the ridiculously talented Michael Schumacher for the amiable Gerhard Schroeder, whilst the French are busy trying to coax former world champion Alain Prost into politics arguing that it's just the same as running a racing team only not as spiteful.

NOAM CHOMSKY
JP - hard to see 'The Little Professor' falling for that one.

JOHN PILGER
Noam - I think he's had his fill of leading underachieving team's.

But what of the team from down-under Noamsky?

NOAM CHOMSKY
After struggling for so long to get into the greatest race of them all, lead driver for the Australian team, John Howard, has indicated he still prefers to rip up the track in the celebrity lead up race's in an Australian built V8 touring car.

JOHN PILGER
Honest John still can't throw that win at all costs approach to everything he does, Noam. And why not - it works!!

NOAM CHOMSKY
Stay tuned JP.

Cyberista will continue to bring you all the good oil on the race, the spectators and the action in the corporate boxes.