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3/24/2004  11:47:29 PM 
Taiwan: Shot In Hope A Near Miss
Want political intrigue? Want international unease and uncertainty? Forget Iraq. Don't bother with South Korea. Check out this tiny island 'nation' in South East Asia.

Up until a few days ago, our buddy GDubya held the record for the biggest cliffhanger election result in history. On the weekend Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian easily accounted for GDubya Florida margin, winning by a wafer-thin 0.2 per cent.

President Chen is lucky to be in the winner's circle at all. On the eve of polling day, an assassination attempt resulted in bullet wounds for both Chen and his Vice President.

Therefore on the Taiwanese domestic front, confusion reigns supreme. Add to this a sore loser: Nationalist candidate Lien Chan.

Chan has complained that the assassination attempt on Mr Chen resulted in a negative impact on his performance at the ballot box. Why not just come out and say it Mr Chan (A.K.A. Jack! A.K.A. Jackie!) You're wishing the assassin had've done his job properly, eh?

And what are 'spoiled votes' anyway? On the back of these factors, Chan has demanded the result be declared invalid and called for a recount.

Meanwhile, President Chen has asked his Democratic Progressive Party to submit a proposal to change the law to allow ballots to be tallied again if a margin of victory is less than 1 per cent as a row over the result stretched into a third day.

On the international front China, Australia and the good 'ol Stars an' Stripes are watching on nervously.

The problem for all three regional heavy weights is the small problem of freedom. Yep - unfortunately pesky little Taiwan still wants to secede from China. Has done since the '49 revolution. Chan, the assassin's target, wants to lead Taiwan to sovereignty.

The interesting thing is that as much as GDubya loves freedom and hates 'The Axis of Evil' with a mighty passion; he just can't afford to back Taiwan.

A little known fact in America is that Australian Prime Minister John Howard hosted visits by President George Bush and Chinese President Hu on consecutive days in October 2003.

Why is this so significant?

Behind the scenes during 2003, President Hu played a big role in assuaging South Korea's rather nervy display in a game of atomic 'chicken'. With the blessing of the US, Hu managed to pull the perfect three point diplomatic turn and come out the other side as a strategic and valued partner of America.

China 1 - USA 0.

Gdubya can't help the Taiwanese. He cannot afford to. Privately he prays for maintenance of the status quo.

The word 'freedom' sure gets bandied about a lot these days, pilgrims. Unfortunately for the determined Taiwanese, it is unlikely to mean the same thing as it does in Iraq. Or America for that matter.

For some time to come.

LINKS:

Taiwan heads for election recount

Will Taiwan now become a flashpoint for war?

Bush, Hu begin historic visits

Bush warns Taiwan against separation

Editorial: Bush defeats Gore, or so we thought



3/5/2004  11:19:15 PM 
Oscar's Date With Cyberista
It's a phrase that leaves Oscar nominees breathless with anticipation. The name that follows invariably means glory for some, whilst others have to please themselves.

Your celebrity-laden editorial team put its best red-carpet foot forward to jockey for position to bring you a very Cyberista Oscar's coverage (despite the constant elbowing and gutter tactics of Entertainment Tonight and Who Weekly).

So having shrugged off a well-earned Oscar-sized hangover; without further ado....

"...and the Oscar goes to..."

Best Impersonation of a Democratic Leader
George W. Bush
What's A Few Good WMD'S
"The Truth! You can't handle the truth!!"

Best Supporting Impersonation of a Democratic Leader
John Howard
Crocodile WMD
"You call that a WMD? This - is a WMD!"

Best Director
Donald Rumsfeld
Murder On The WMD Express
"Evidence? What more evidence do you need!"

Best Original Screenplay
Paul Horowitz
Good WMD Hunting
"Ok so now you're a janitor. But you used to be one hell of a dictator"

The only hiccup to proceedings Cyberista observed was when Susan Sarandon appeared in a rather gaudy albeit revealing outfit. We couldn't determine whether she was trying to pull a Janet Jackson or was attempting to draw attention away from the long face of hubby Tim Robbins.

Despite picking up an Oscar himself, Tim felt that George Dubya would have been better off invading New Zealand and occupying the set for The Lord of The Rings.

Apparently Tim feels that Hollywood supremacy of the film industry has never been more threatened. Well no wonder when it keeps throwing up gems like Welcome To The Jungle, Road Trip and Coyote Ugly.

What are we to make of actors?

On the one hand you have Sean Penn giving one of the most modestly earnest and eloquent acceptance speeches in living memory; straining to emphasize the moral responsibility he feels he owes himself and his audience.

Whilst on the other, Julia Roberts pays tribute to screen legend Katherine Hepburn reminding us of Hepburn's famous quote that epitomised her distaste for the lofty accolades she attracted throughout her career.

"Acting is so simple a child could do it", noted Hepburn, "After all - Shirley Temple could do it at age four".